Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
