At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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