right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
