Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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