his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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