I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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