It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she looked like the before picture.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
