How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
They are going to name an STD after you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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