sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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