it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
