Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
