butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her vagine was all disorganized.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
