we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
