ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
