you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
