at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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