God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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