32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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