He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
