she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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