If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
