I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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