yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you still have your period?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
