Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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