it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
