dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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