I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
