yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
