i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
