my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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