Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
