I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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