The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
