Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
