i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize