I'm lost and stupid without you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
They left me at home... I'm a liability
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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