Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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