So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
