She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
