i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
should my penis look like a turkey
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
