What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
