This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
third nipple confirmed
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
