Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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