After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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