dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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