We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
