How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
