after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
4 words: hood of his car
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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