i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
