windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
