she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sorry about my life...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
