apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
