She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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