All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
