but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
