Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
